im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
