that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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