Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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