the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
