In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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