babies were throwing up all over the place
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
this boner is exhausting
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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