i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
