The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
