i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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