yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
