Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
