it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
