My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
