i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
