I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
