I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This house was built for laser tag.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
