her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
