its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
