I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
