Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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