He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
