i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
