Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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