since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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