I will die if light touches me.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
