Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
