tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
