Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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