just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
