I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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