Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
