Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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