Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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