why im i the only drunk person in the library?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
