We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
