absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
