So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
