I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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