do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
