u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
