Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
