P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
