I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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