Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
