Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Randomize
