How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
