I'm jealous of your bromance
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
