I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So many bounce houses so little time
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
