i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
