Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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